Stephen Altschuler

thoughts on environment, politics, health, life issues

Human nature

A Breakable News Special Report!! We do realize you’re tired of these quixotic reports but this was a just hanging out there like an overripe peach

by Leave a Comment

The Trump Administration, spearheaded by Donald himself, set aside action on the pandemic, and a dangerously sinking economy to approve limiting restrictions on water pressure regulations on showerheads. Not long ago Trump railed that he didn’t have enough water pressure in the shower to fully wash his hair, which he wanted to “be perfect.” Well, Trump increased the pressure, all right, on his agency in charge of such things. In response to his victory, Trump reportedly tweeted, “FINALLY, TRICKLE DOWN SHOWER ECONOMICS ARE OVER. MY PERFECT HAIR WILL BE THE GREATEST OF ALL PAST PRESIDENTS!”

In other news, while Trump was showering as ordered:

  • Covid deaths have now passed the 300,000 mark in the U.S.
  • The unemployment rate is the highest since Labor Day.
  • Trump and his enablers in Congress continue to label the election a fraud despite the supreme court decision against that accusation.
  • Barr quits, or more likely, was fired.
  • McConnell finally congratulates Biden for his victory.
  • Trump slam-tweets Barr and McConnell for disloyalty.
  • Canceling shower head restrictions will now probably extend to toilets as well. A focused Trump was heard to announce to a rapt nation, “People will now only have to flush once, instead of the 10 to 15 times they probably had to flush before.”
  • In 33 days, Trump will be out of office, looking for a place to live since Palm Springs does not want him living at Mar a-Lago, his dilapidated Atlantic City Hotel will soon be torn down, and New York’s Attorney General is working hard to find Trump a private suite at the state prison.
  • Breakable News has also heard that Trump is considering asylum offers from his buds Vlad Putin and/or Kimmie Un. This is a continuing and very breakable story…

That’s it, faithful BNers. Again, so sorry to disturb your time where you probably weren’t doing much anyway. Oh, and our consumer affairs correspondent advises to go easy on that time under an increasingly gushing shower. For human beings and other living things, water rules.

 

 

The White House White Elephant Rose Garden Christmas Sale

by 2 Comments

Breakable News, the news you wished you’d unsubscribed to before this report hit your screens, has stumbled upon a story that not only has legs but liver. Our White House Rose Garden correspondent Rosie Flowers (yes, we do have a reporter specifically assigned to the Rose Garden!) emerged from a pod of lilies in a backwater pool during what one guest called a Rose Garden White Elephant Christmas Sale, hosted by none other than Donald and Melania themselves, assisted by all their children, and designated maskless and socially close, of course. Here’s the transcript of Flower’s report.

RF: Excuse me, Mr. President, what’s going on?

DJT: Now Rosie, I’m tired of your meddling. This was supposed to be a top secret, National Security event, you know. But if you must know, we’re having a sale of our possessions tremendously acquired over the past four years, completely, I might add, with taxpayers’ money, to make some extra dough for our Election Reversal Fund and to cut down on boxes we’ll need to pick up from the UHaul It store.

RF: But I thought that Fund was well funded by your loyal base supporters, Mr. President. Money was rolling in. Last I heard, some 20 million.

DJT: It was rolling in, nicely, I might add—more than any other Election Reversal Fund in the history of this country—until that stupid AJ Barr of mine opened his big pie hole to say Biden won, which he hasn’t, you know. And then that traitor McConnell follows suit. And even my Supreme Court. Well, and you can print this, I won, by a lot. Congress is currently working on that. Would you be interested, by the way, in this imitation gold plated demitasse tea service?

RF: How much?

DJT: Let me check with Melania. Melania, dear. Melania. How much for the tea set? What? Really?  OK. (back to RF)  Ten million.

RF: Would you take three?

DJT: Million?

RF: No, three dollars.

DJT: Look, this isn’t any crap stuff out here.  There‘s never been anything like it at this dump. And by the way, not a word of this sale in your fake news rag. Clear?

RF: Sure, sure. How much have you taken people for so far?

DJT: Oh big time. They’re swarming through here like murder hornets in a beehive. McConnell bought the mask I ripped off at the press conference the other day for two mil. And Pompeo and his wife bought seven gold plated toilets for five.

RF: Dollars?

DJT: Million, smart aleck. I signed each one with my sharpie, then shrewdly sold the sharpie to one of my Scotus appointees—I won’t say who—for a mil. We are raking it in. And I haven’t even started with the GoFundMe fund yet.  Ask Melania. She organized this whole thing. Brilliant. You know, the Rose Garden was her pet project. Great girl. I revised the pre-nup and increased her allowance to 20 mil a week.

RF: But what about the Covid pandemic, sir? It’s raging out of control.  What are you doing about that?

DJT: That’s a fraud. Total fraud. Fauci and the Democrats made the whole thing up. I just wrote an Executive Order banning the mention of it among all Federal agencies and U.S citizens. Wanna buy the sharpie I used?

RF: How much?

DJT:  Never mind. If you have to ask, you can’t afford it, I always say. But business is a little slow. Lunch time, you know. I’ll give it to you for three bucks, but don’t tell Melania. How’d you get in here, anyway?

RF: What? You never noticed? I live here. In a tent behind the alligator pond.

DJT: Oh. Roger that. Hey, I’m busy, Flowers. I’ve got to get to my resort for a tee time with Mnuchin. He’s buying my supercharged golf cart.

RF: How much?

DJT: Don’t ask. But he checked with Bannon and was able to transfer some wall construction money into my personal account. Half a billion, I think. Wait, I’ll check with Ivanka. She handles stuff like this.

RF: That’s OK. I think we’re done here.

DJT: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. That’s my line!

 

And there you have it, faithful Breakable readers. You heard it right from the ass’s mouth. And remember, repeat this to no one or the Wizard of Oz will cast vicious tweets upon you and yours.

 

 

 

Here’s the Deal–My Take

by 2 Comments

I finally figured out what the hell is happening vis a vis Trump, his minions, and this crazed country. First, Trump’s main motive is to keep the money rolling in, which he is doing by continuing to refuse to accept Biden as winner of the election. Even after the Supreme Court decision against him, he’ll continue to yell it as fraud and rigged and that he ‘won by a lot.” Not only won’t that change but will continue even after Biden’s inauguration. For Trump will attempt to establish a shadow presidency, complete with his own new agencies that remain loyal to him like Newsmax. You see, Trump will never admit he is a loser. He was raised in a cultish home with a sociopathic, authoritarian father who’s toxic voice hammered home the constant message to never admit to being a loser. And his supporters will continue to protest, dutifully send him their hard earned money, and increasingly threaten his detractors. That means more intimidation including death threats via email, mail, phone, social media. and directly in front of private homes at night with bullhorns on their lips and guns on their hips.

Secondly, Republicans who have been supporting Trump in Congress and in Red states will continue to [Read more…] about Here’s the Deal–My Take

Trump is Deranged

by 6 Comments

Trump is deranged. I first thought he exhibits many of the characteristics of Neanderthals, human beings who existed in Europe before homo sapiens arrived. The two groups interbred but eventually Neanderthals went extinct giving way to the superior brained homo sapiens, our present species. We homo sapiens today have more or less Neanderthal DNA in our genetic code. 

But Neanderthals were not deranged. They may have lacked the intelligence to survive the wild animals and harsh climate of Europe, but they knew and accepted their reality and actually adapted well for centuries. They were just unable for whatever reasons to handle the inclusion of homo sapiens to their population. Trump and many of his enablers and followers are also unable to accept and adapt to the realities of the times. They approach life in simplistic, survivalist terms. They look out mainly for themselves mostly ignoring the needs of others outside of their immediate families. Life is primarily survival of the fittest, of winners and losers, of supporters and detractors. It’s the most basic form of thought, lacking empathy, lacking consciousness, lacking nuance, lacking concern for others, lacking the ability to feel compassion. It’s literally their way or the highway. 

A survival of the fittest mentality evolves as a mechanism of survival only. All wild animals have that survival instinct. In fact that is their prime reason for living, although the word reason may be misleading, for reasoned cognition is more common in homo sapiens. Most homo sapiens have evolved beyond this survival instinct.

Trump’s present campaign of intimidating and cajoling battleground state election officials and state representatives to reverse the outcome of a free and fair election is an example of a desperate and degenerative tactic for survival. He is fighting for survival for he knows that if he loses the election and must leave office, he is extremely vulnerable to current civil and possibly criminal legal actions against him. His long-time lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen, now imprisoned because of that loyalty to Trump, warned us of this pattern of Trump when referring to him as a con man who will take any action to save himself at the expense of others surrounding him. His present actions are tearing the Republican Party down. His actions are tearing his own family apart. His actions are even besmirching his brand which he is so enamored of. His actions are entirely self serving and self absorbed. His actions reveal a [Read more…] about Trump is Deranged

Do Police Lives Matter?

by 2 Comments

I recently saw a post that I tried to save but somehow couldn’t entitled Police Lives Matter and asking for comments if one was brave enough to do so. Here’s my reply:
Of course they matter. They take on a job that few would consider. They protect. They serve. They keep the peace. There are some cops who are wonderful human beings, skilled at handling the most difficult situations imaginable. And yet there are many who need more training to deal with those with severe mental illness, with addiction problems, suicidal situations, with explosive domestic violence situations, with people of color, with high crime areas. Some of these are situations where social workers would be helpful but, practically speaking, are not available.
Cops who show a leaning towards fringe groups, like white supremacists, QAnon, the KKK, Neo Nazis, and others of that ilk should be taken off street duty and fired as quickly as possible.
Community policing where solid relationships are developed with businesses, government leaders, and individuals is vital for reforming police departments.
When I was kid in Philly, a friendly cop would come into our elementary school classroom and talk to us about safety and some of what they do. That had a huge impact on me. I don’t know if they still do that, but they should. I even joined the safety patrol of that elementary school as a result! I didn’t last long for the stress got to me. I had to get a note from my mother to get me out. If dealing with kids crossing streets was too much to handle imagine what actual cops go through today.
So absolutely the police matter. I value their presence in our communities. But there are people who are not treated fairly by the police. They are discriminated against because of the color of their skin. That’s not right. It rubs against the fabric of our society. We’re not a perfect society but we do strive to come up to the standards set forth in our founding documents, and by the words and deeds of our most respected leaders, writers, and clergy. We’re a country that moves towards those ideals, too slowly at times, but steadily in the right direction.
The police, who started as a force to track down and return runaway slaves, has come a long way. They need to keep evolving into something better. But don’t we all?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Donald Trump, here! Make your contributions directly to the Pres

by Leave a Comment

A Breakable correspondent, I.O. You, stumbled upon, guess who?, the Donald himself at the Ohio State Fair, at a booth entitled CONTRIBUTIONS WELCOME HERE.

“Hey Ja, make your contributions here, donations here, MAGA supporters, Proud Boys, QAnon, Anybody”, Trump was hollering at the top of his lungs.

IOY: President Donald, what up?

DJT: Our debt reduction fund is running low, You, so we figured a direct appeal was in order. Rallies just weren’t drawing like they used to. But this election is not over, not by a long shot. Excuse me.

Step right up, step right up, ladies and germs. THE President here to receieve your donations. We’ll take whatever you got: cash, check, bitcoins, or your first born. Whaddya got, ma’am?

Woman at booth: Oh, Mr President, this is such an honor. My husband’s got the Covid, my kid’s in jail for cocaine possession, and my daughter’s now making adult films, but here’s my life savings. Wish it could be more, but it’s all we got.

DJT: Excellent, excellent, loyal subject. BTW, what’s your daughter’s number? Just joking. You know, locker room stuff. Have a good day. Oh, what’s your bank account and password, by the way?

Now, You,any other questions. I’m a busy man, as you can see.

You: We’re nearly 280 thousand dead with Covid, Sir. What’s your current strategy in your final days in office?

DJT: Now wait just a goddamn moment, sheishead. What do you mean, final days in office. Don’t you listen to Guiliani, America’s Mayor? We’re turning this rigged election around. He tells me we found another ace witness who is a brother in law of an election official in Wisconsin who told a friend who then told Rudy’s cousin that several ballots were added to the final pile. We’re going to my Supreme Court with that obviously reliable evidence and should get a year 2000-type decision shortly. So don’t give me that final days in office bunk. I’m a winner by a lot.

You: Yes, sir. Sorry sir. I just heard…

DJT: You heard? You heard? You just heard the truth from me, period. Get it?

You: Got it.

DJT: Good.

And that, dear readers, is right from the horse’s mouth. A pooper scooper if we ever had one. The President of the United States at the Ohio State Fair pitching for contributions to his ongoing, and perhaps perpetual and chronic fund raising efforts to fuel his ever-demanding lavish lifestyle. Is there no end to his supporters never-ending love of this man? A story to be continued, we’re sure.

Another flash from Breakable’s wireless, and mostly useless, news service: Amazon is now officially and virtually the only viable remaining retail outlet available for purchases within the continental US of A. You can buy anything from a peppercorn–that’s one peppercorn–to a side of beef at the tap of a finger. And, as Jeff Bezos always says, if we don’t have it, you don’t need it. As we say here in the Breakable newsroom, Hail to Amazon! Long Live Amazon!

And finally, a Zoom tip o the day: No matter how messy or chaotic your place is during these pandemic doldrums, you can create an illusion of order and domestic bliss with a lovely backdrop from IKEA. Special this week: Buy a 9×12 scene of the Swiss Alps and get a street scene of the Champs d’elysee for free!

Carry on, dear readers. We know you’re burnt out and fatigued, but hang in there: Help and hope are on the way!

New Hot Flashes from Breakable News (that could be taken the wrong way, I suppose…)

by Leave a Comment

Latest News Flashes from Breakable News, the media group Trump considered retreating to after Fox betrayed him, but didn’t when he scratched the surface of Breakable’s true intent.

  • In a new EO, Trump erased the provision in the Constitution that authorizes a Federal Court System. “I appoint ’em, I figure I can fire ’em,” he told his wife, one of the last people on the planet who still support the president.
  • A new monolith was discovered in the middle of the Sahara Desert that strangely resembled Donald Trump. It was a man in a golf cart all made of stainless steel, except for an actual smart phone in the man’s hand set on Twitter. Alien visitors are suspected of planting the monument.
  • Attorney General William Barr, after announcing that his department was unable to find any fraud anywhere in the 2020 election, was spotted in a D.C. unemployment line waiting to apply for compensation that his former buddy Donald was loathe to sign off on. When asked for a comment, Barr muttered, “I don’t know how I’ll make it. All I got is 20 million in savings.”
  • And still a second monolith was found right in Senate chambers. The emotionless steel structure was that  of Sen. “Moscow” Mitch McConnell who, it turned out, was curiously playing himself, standing perfectly still with only his lips moving. The monolith is and will remain a mystery.
  • But these mysteries may well now be solved. Disavowed Trump advocate and lawyer Sidney Powell, fast fading from the daily news cycle, has been unmasked as an alien visitor from another planet outside our solar system. Her abandoned space ship was discovered in a landfill near Addis Ababa, and after DNA analysis by the Justice Department, it was determined that Powell is indeed the perpetrator of the various monoliths popping up around the globe. Her confiscated diary also points to alien Powell as the originator of QAnon. She was last seen dematerializing, without, we might add, proper humanoid makeup.
  • Even curiouser-er is the case of Sen. David Perdue of Georgia who is running for reelection in a runoff against Jon Ossoff in early January. Perdue bought the entire state of Georgia recently after what he called “a routine” stock trade. As the owner of the state, he has ordered Ossoff to cease and desist from any further campaigning.
  • To demonstrate his ability to run the country, Joe Biden got his pet German Shepard in a playful headlock, and in the ensuing ruckus, broke his foot. Consequently, Joe named the dog the next Secretary of Defense.
  • Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez–better known as O Say Can’t U C–took advantage of insider trading and bought up every Green New Deal on the market. As a result, she expects lots of leverage when the next Congress opens for business. She also looks maaavalous.
  • And finally, a new megastore is in the offing: Vaccine Depot. This is THE boutique one shop stop for all your vaccine needs, as President Trump put it. “It was my idea right from the start, even before the China virus attacked us with nuclear neglect. And no one thanked me for it, even though I alone, President Warped Speed, as a lot of people call me–including my wife–thought of it all by my swelf.”
  • Trump still claims he won the election and “is looking forward to the next four years” of his sanctified reign, all of which Breakable heard via a planted microphone in the Psych Ward at Walter Reed.

Well, I think that’s all the Hot Flashes we have for you today, and certainly all that you need to hear, dear readers (assuming there are any of you left).

And here’s your Surviving the Pandemic tip o the day: With all the shutdowns, quarantines, and shelterings in place, we know it can get lonely out there. We recommend volunteering where CDC guidelines allow. There are, for example, cats and dogs in shelters who need your love and attention. L’Chiam.

Do you realize that…

by 2 Comments

  • A recent poll shows 77% of those who voted for Trump, believe the election was stolen via fraudulent means. Something similar happened in Germany after WWI. Conservatives were spreading lies that Germany did not lose the war which many believed. Hitler seized upon these lies, enflaming Nationalist fervor, threatening scapegoats like Social Democrats and Jews, and eventually taking power in 1933. Trump’s lies are currently undermining democracy in similar ways.
  • If Trump goes to Georgia to campaign for Republicans in the Senate runoff elections, and he continues to rant about fraudulent and rigged elections in that state, Republicans will be less likely to come out to vote or mail in a ballot thus swinging the election to two underdog Democrats and thereby flipping the Senate Blue. Once again, Trump’s rhetoric and actions may backfire.
  • Many of the people who voted against Trump either then voted for Republicans down ballot or didn’t vote for anyone except Joe Biden. These were probably Republicans who truly opposed Donald Trump and split their votes to stay loyal to Republicans down ballot. Given his clinical narcissism, I don’t think Trump wants to acknowledge that.
  • It is unlikely Donald Trump will run again in 2024, although he has given indication that he might just do that. This self described “winner” will not wish to risk losing again. Also, he will be 78 years old, and will not have the advantage of running against someone as hated as he was. The RNC and most Republicans beyond his cult followers will want nothing to do with Trump, given his impulsive, Twitter approach to governance. And too, he may be in jail by then, or deceased. They finally jailed Al Capone on tax evasion. Trump may suffer the same fate.
  • Contrary to Trump’s false allegations, Joe Biden won this election by a larger margin than most presidential candidates in history.
  • Donald Trump is currently trying to sabotage Joe Biden’s transition to power and make it difficult for him to set the country on a course to recovery and health. Consequently thousands more could die or be thrown into despair and poverty. That sounds like treason in my book.
  • It is likely that Trump knew about and allowed this assassination in Iran to happen to put Biden in a tough position to negotiate with the Iranians after he takes office. In this light, this assassination is criminal, reckless, irresponsible, immoral, and typical of Trump’s style of revenge at the expense of others.
  • As a result of the recount in Wisconsin, President-elect Biden’s lead over President Trump grew by 87 votes. Under state law, Trump was required to foot the bill for the partial recount — meaning his campaign paid $3 million only to see Biden’s lead expand.
  • Trump is a compulsive lier as the courts have recently verified. Here’s a piece from HuffPost, reporting from Fox News (right, that Fox News!) a report that exposes Trump’s desperate moves to delegitimize Biden’s election victory. “FOX HOST PULLS APART PRESIDENT’S LIES Fox News host Eric Shawn on Sunday debunked election disinformation that President Donald Trump disgorged hours earlier on the same network in his first live interview since the election. Shawn pointed out that Trump’s campaign has failed to prove any of his accusations in court, and invited Axios political reporter Hans Nichols to help dismantle many of Trump’s bogus claims, including that ballots counted after the initial tallies on election night were somehow fraudulent.”
  • Trump’s campaign is in debt, and to pay that debt down, he has deceived his supporters into thinking their current donations are being used to reverse the election results. They are not. Donations to the RNC are being used to pay down RNC and possibly Trump’s personal debt. During a time of pandemic hardship when every dollar of one’s family is critical to that family’s budget, Trump, the loser of the election, is scamming his supporters for more money to pay his debts.
  • As we approach 280,000 Covid-19 deaths, Trump was out playing a full round of golf on Thanksgiving Day. Fore right!

[Read more…] about Do you realize that…