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David Brooks, NYT columnist, NPR commentator, and moderate Republican is right: What we have in this country is a crisis involving trust, namely a lack of it. I got my ballot in the mail today, filled it out, and read the instructions for delivery. Here’s what it said, “If you have concerns regarding delivery of your ballot by the USPS, you may use one of our 20 ballot boxes.” That from the state of Washington Elections Department. So that’s what it’s come to: an official state elections agency cautioning us about the possibility of our post office intentionally not delivering our ballot by the deadline.  That is something I’ve never had to consider before, and it distresses me to no end. I struggle now what what to do with my ballot: take a chance and put it in a post box or drive around and put it in an official ballot drop box or drive downtown and hand it directly in to the elections office. And this is supposedly one of the world’s most stable democracies! I also worry, with the atmosphere of violence that is permeating the air around the election, that someone will torch a drop box, ruining and disqualifying all the ballots inside; or that armed militia might patrol polling places around the country as the president of our country has requested, thus intimidating voters not to vote at all. Trust. Or lack of it.

Vaccines are another issue. Trump is pushing companies with his project Warp Speed to fast track vaccine research to get a vaccine ready before the election to obviously help his chances.  Would I, or anyone in their right mind, take such a vaccine? Not hardly. Again, trust. Or lack of it.

Or take this bogus Supreme Court nomination being pushed through the Senate so the Republicans can pack the court with another conservative just in case Trump loses, and that Trump can have a Justice that will rule in his favor in case the election is contested as it was in [Read more…] about A Crisis of Trust: A Time to Act

Breakable News/ Oct 10/ Trump Threatens to prosecute all available Democrats before the election

BN staff are dropping like flies (no offense to any flies), but in keeping with our commitment to report fake news that is covered by almost no other news source in the world, today’s report involves a president who is absolutely under the gun and over the top. This is looking more and more like a WWI documentary, but Hollywood couldn’t write this stuff. Trump is ordering AG Bill Barr, better known as Wild Bill Barr, to indict as many Democrats as he can fit on a writ of habeas whatever, before the election 22 days from now. We attempted to interview AG Barr, but he was shaking so hard in his boots, words were unavailable to him. He issued several grunting noises over the phone that sounded like Koko the gorilla, only Koko was far more intelligible. So instead, we went ahead and interviewed a close relative of Koko’s named Little Koko since Koko Sr. passed in 2018. 

BN: Little Koko, what do think about the president’s efforts to prosecute Democratic leaders past and present before the election.

LK: Look, where I come from, we would take that First Moron, hang him from a tree, and use him for a tetherball. That’s all he’s good for. 

BN: A tetherball?

LK: I know that sounds harsh, but in the law of the jungle we respect all sentient beings. Trump is no sentient being, so yes, swat him this way and that like a tetherball. In the jungle we call a spade a spade, tit for tat, Quid pro quo. An eye for an eye. We don’t take no shit.

BN: Would you give him a fair trial? 

LK: Has he given anyone a fair trial with his tweets and lies and career-busting nicknames, and the rest of his monkey business—no offense to our chimp cousins? In the jungle, it’s judge, jury, and executioner, and I can tell you, as a gorilla who knows, Trump is toast. And as toast, he’s in a panic. And when T rump is in a panic he does stupid things like wanting to take Democrats like Hillary, Obama, and even Biden to court 20 days before the election. That would be like Idi Amin choosing Tel Aviv for a vacation back in the day. Trump, who reminds me of Amin, should be committed to a mental hospital. 

BN: Well, thanks so much Little Koko for your candidness and transparency. By the way, how did you learn to speak such good English? 

LK: Ah, long story short: Watching old John Wayne movies. 

BN: Right.

And that concludes our coverage of another of Trump’s rapid fire actions seemingly to deflect attention from his poor ratings in the polls. 

In other news, 12 white supremacist terrorists were accused and arrested on charges of planning to kidnap and kill the Governor of Michigan. So far, there’s been no comment from the White House or Attorney General Barr’s office, neither of whom knew about the FBI infiltration. Trump reportedly did say he wanted to be thanked for the arrests, despite his never being informed of the agency’s efforts.

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Today’s Breakable News recipe for the day: Bouillon tea

Ingredient: 1 or 2 Bouillon cube(s)

Instructions: Boil enough water to fill a cup. Pour.

                      Drop in one or two cube(s), to taste. Serve and             drink. Caution: Those on salt-restricted diets should drink something else. 

And that concludes another mis-informative edition of Breakable News for whatever day it is. We beg you to return tomorrow and be more misinformed than with any other news source (with the exception of the White House website and/or press secretary, or any tweets from the president himself).

I recommend the censure and, if possible, impeachment of Washington state Rep. Vicki Kraft. Her language in relation to Gov. Inslee goes beyond the  boundaries of what is acceptable under the First Amendment. 17th Legislative District representative Kraft compared the Governor to Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. When asked about the symbols of white supremacy at the rallies she recently attended, she argued that any Nazi flags flown at those events weren’t symbols of hate. Rather, they were a symbol of protest to Governor Inslee’s implementation of the ‘Stay Home, Stay Healthy’ order, which makes him a dictator. This is beyond the pale in inciting hatred and violence towards the Governor who is doing his best to protect the citizens of our state from this horrible pandemic. As we’ve now seen in Michigan, it doesn’t take much to trigger these white nationalist militias to put into effect violent plans—plans that included the psychotic kidnapping and murder of a sitting governor, along with targeting state police officials. 

If nothing else, Rep. Kraft should certainly be defeated in the coming election by her Democratic opponent, Daniel Smith, a certified social worker who has specialized in the care of the mentally ill for over 20 years as a practitioner and administrator.

Breakable News Flash/Monday, Oct. 5/All the news unfit to print

Breaking tradition of only printing fake news, breakable news has a story today that appears fake but is true, mostly. We apologize for the digression and we hope our four, maybe three, readers will stay with us out of loyalty to our brand. If we lost all of you, basic math would tell us we’d have no readers and thus lose our identity as the world’s sort of only true and complete fake news source. So stick with us , dear ones.

Our white noise correspondent reports that  yesterday president trump escaped from his hospital room to ride in a limo, masked and somehow lifting his arm to wave at trump flag waving supporters lining the street, in the words of one, “to tell the president we love him.” Asked what he did for a living, the supporter said, “this, this is what I do. Otherwise I’d have nothing to do,” he said returning to yelling and screaming at the president, who looked quite pale wearing somewhat rumpled clothing that looked suspiciously like the ones he wore a couple days before when he entered hospital. His hair though was impeccably quaffed, indicating that he may well have brought his full time stylist with him. Trump also waved to his doctors giving a press briefing at the same time, who seemed quite aghast seeing their patient, who they had given oxygen, steroids, and perhaps disinfectant of some sort-that from a White House source-and who just hours before “was not out of the woods yet.” The doctors’ collective jaws were well dropped as trump’s car cruised past filled with captive secret service guys, also masked, who later said, “ Your damn right we’re pissed. We’ve got to quarantine now because of this jokers joyride?”

Later, back in his room, back on oxygen, DJT tweeted, “FEEL GREAT. Loved the love fest. Sorry about the mask.  Virus? What virus? I am the strongest president in American history and can actually leap tall buildings in a single bound. Nasty SS guys complained the whole way. Bad Boys, these proud boys. Ha Ha. Ok, back to the intravenous bs. Where’s my doc. I’m so tired. Anyway, I’m so outta here.”

And now our Breakable news recipe for the day: chicken’s chicken.

Ingredients: one whole chicken 

Directions: put plucked bird into large pot. Fill to brim with water (tap). High heat for a long time. Remove bird from pot. Serve.

Tomorrow’s recipe: eggs’ eggs 

And stay tuned for a Monday special: A retired guy’s guide to fashion.