Coronavirus

Trump Offer to Breakable News

October 15, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler 4 Comments

Breakable has been approached by Trump’s people with an offer to purchase the rag for 3 billion (“an offer you can’t refuse” as Trump added). They’re needing a forum after their expected coming defeat to continue feeding verifiably fake news to their adoring public, and they’ve looked at our numbers and financials and are duly impressed. Our Board of Mis-Directors is currently considering the offer and we will keep you informed as is our usual policy.

There are however some catches. They are requiring:

the Trump brand appear in our logo, in that they require our name change to Trump News
that Trump tweets be the main daily feature
that Trump have final say before publication
that reporters and correspondents be required, when on assignment, to stay at Trump hotels and resorts at their own expense
That armed militia members be hired to stand sentry at office entrances
that only whites (not including Jews or minorities who look white or LBGTQ, actually ‘Qs are fine as long as they are QAnon people since they like America and want it to be great again) be hired (women are OK providing they meet Mr. Trump’s minimum basic standards and measurements).
That no pets be permitted on premises. Too many germs.
that no pandemic related masks or any social distancing be permitted either on the premises or outside or wherever.
That there be no testing for coronavirus since, given his recovery, the pandemic is now officially over, and must be referred to in that manner from henceforth and hitherto throughout his God-given realm.

That’s it for now. We apologize to those readers who have become enamored of The News and can hardly sleep without reading every word and paragraph. On the other hand, most of our readers had already stopped reading as our comments, numbering just about zero, have shown.

So we’ll be breakabling (get it?) until our BOMD makes its decision. As editor, I can’t say I’m disappointed: I’ve got other fish to fry.

Just one last award-losing recipe of the day: Fried Fish

Ingredients: a piece of fish to fry (or pieces depending on how many mouths to feed)

butter, lots

salt and pepper (for those who’ve lost their taste buds due to Covid or with heart failure, fegetaboutit)

Instructions: Heat fry pan on high and add butter. When sizzling, add fish. Salt and pepper. Fry until all harmful bacteria are presumably dead. Serve. Eat.

B’ bye.

Why Jews, and really everyone, should not vote for Donald Trump or any of his Republican enablers

September 10, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler 2 Comments

As an older secular Jewish man, I believe I’m in a good position to judge a politician’s attitude towards Jews. And one’s attitude and behavior towards Jews does not necessarily coincide with one’s opinion towards Israel and their governmental policies. That’s a very complicated snake pit that involves religious, territorial, nationalistic, historical, and cultural considerations. But one’s attitude and opinion of Jews is more visceral. Put the word Jew before any Western person and ask for their first impression and you will discover their basic attitudes and inclinations, especially if the responses are confidential and discreet. Because of historic racism and prejudice towards Jews in the Middle East and Western worlds, I suspect those responses will be mostly negative and derogatory, depending on geographical, educational, economic, and religious factors.

I’m not a professional historian, but it is commonly accepted that the first Crusaders, around the year 1096, on their way to liberate the Holy Land from Islamic rule, invaded Jewish villages along the way, and massacred most of their inhabitants. The Crusades, after all, were church-sanctioned genocidal escapades to combat paganism and heresy. Jews were lumped in with Moslems in that regard. And to solidify the hatred, a conspiracy theory started in the Middle Ages, called blood libel, was spread by word of mouth, accusing Jews of murdering Christian children in order to use their blood as part of religious rituals. These claims—alongside those of well-poisoning and host desecration—have been major themes of the persecution of Jews in Europe. And Europeans brought such vicious falsehoods to America when they colonized this territory.

Believe it or not, this conspiracy theory still survives [Read more…] about Why Jews, and really everyone, should not vote for Donald Trump or any of his Republican enablers

That Which Stands in the Way of…

June 20, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler Leave a Comment

Climate Change and Covid-19 prevention

Making significant progress towards reversing climate change involves sacrifice and change on a massive scale. Up until the coronavirus pandemic I saw no possibility of this ever happening to the degree that it had to happen. The pandemic though forced the issue since not to act meant possible illness and death–and a very uncomfortable and lonely death at that. To date, a relative few place climate change on the same level of urgency as the current pandemic. And many, including leaders in Washington and in many states, are even minimizing the pandemic, pretending that it’s over and no longer a threat to public health.

They ignore the current increasing numbers of infections among children, adolescents and young adults, choosing to forsake social distancing and wearing facial masks when advised or required. People in our culture often resist doing what government requires them to do. They tire of restrictions or lament the effects on the economy. Or perhaps their vanity tells them to not wear a mask since others will then be unable to see their handsome or pretty features. Or their concern for their privacy warrants resistance to effective contact tracing which is so vital to the control of the spread of the pandemic. At first, many opposed a ban on smoking, mandated [Read more…] about That Which Stands in the Way of…

A Letter to Donald Trump

April 16, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler Leave a Comment

Dear Donald John Trump,

Please resign now as President and hand over the reins of your office to your veep Mike Pence. It makes sense. Polls indicate you will probably lose the next election by a considerable margin; your approval ratings are beginning to slip badly, the stock market is down; the economy is down and in recession, heading towards a depression; your business empire needs your full attention. And remember Nixon chose to resign to avoid the embarrassment of an impeachment conviction. You should resign, sir, if for no other reason than to avoid the embarrassment of a landslide defeat at the hands of the Democrats. Resignation will preserve your legacy at this point, avoiding any further smears. Think of it: you’ll have time to hone your golf game even more, build your businesses for enduring success, and be remembered as the President who did the right thing for America. With your grandchildren in tow, you can ease into older age, your memories as President and your reputation intact.

So please Mr. President, resign and put elections and Coronavirus briefings and the media and the tanking economy behind you. It’s the right, and honorable ,thing to do.

Thank you, sir, for your attention.

written by Stephen Charles Altschuler

U.S. citizen

Vancouver WA