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Stephen Altschuler

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How to Handle Trump (and other) Bullies

January 1, 2022 by Stephen Altschuler Leave a Comment

In responding to a Trump bully on FB, I replied, “Ah, another Trump bully looking for a fight.” That, so far, has shut this bully up. But who knows. They do have a tendency to simmer for a while then raise their ugly heads again in toxic reply. Most of these Trump followers are either hardened cult members who’ve swallowed the Kool Aid and would effectively die for their fascist leader. Or perhaps they are politicians in the fetid mold of Marjorie Taylor Greene who back Trump as they would a deal with the devil that they bargain will get them reelected or at least prevent death threats to them or their families as never-Trump folks have experienced. Or perhaps they are Fox “News” viewers who are longing to be noticed and acknowledged in a society that is changing faster than you can say Jack Robinson, and, in fact, are increasingly looking like Jackie Robinson. They’re scared for their future and voted for Trump in an attempt to stem the rising tide of reality, the tide that raises even their resistant ships.

Whoever they are, their minds tend to harden and calcify over time, particularly as Trump doubles and triples down on his election and Joe Biden presidency lies. They are not necessarily white supremacists who are merely riding on Trump’s coattails with their own nefarious agenda, but they are also not necessarily those on the streets or in their Trump trucks carrying Trump placards. But many are ardent Facebookers who seem to be constantly monitoring the news feed for posts criticizing their heavyweight (or is it overweight?)champion. It’s almost like they hover over their computers in endless vigil like East German soldiers used to do at the Berlin Wall ready to shoot those trying to escape. Ultimately, like any bully, their aim is to perpetrate a fight, a virulent diatribe that devolves into a deeper and deeper rabbit hole of vitriol. So their initial foray is a direct spit in the eye, wanting to be sure to get the kind of response they are looking for.

It is, of course, tempting to spit back, thinking that will shut this bully up, but it doesn’t work that way. For that revs up the bully and gets his inner juices to acidify even more. He then gets even more personal, for he knows from experience that the more personal his attacks the more he will inflict an injury not on the body but on the ego which is even more apt to get a personal response. Once that response is accomplished, he’s off to the races knowing he’s enticed a probable liberal into the kind of confrontation he’s looking for. On the other hand, such a Trump bully would probably make a good ad man, getting people to buy products that they don’t particularly need or even want. But that’s another post.

So I would suggest to take a breath and not respond to the Trump bully’s first volley. This is after all a kind of cold war not a hot one. Check to see how their bullying comments makes you feel, both intellectually and viscerally. What’s your first reaction and what would you say back if you responded immediately. Would it be “an eye for an eye”? Would it be a “never again”? Would it be a “love thine enemy?” It’s always good to just observe that first reaction before any actual action. That’s puts the situation under your control and not the bully’s who expects you will act on your first reaction immediately. Bullies love gut reactions as they often lead to the fights they crave.

After that first wave hits the shore, see if you can come up with something that conveys your feelings without getting personal. That’s key, for as soon as you get into personal territory you bring out the bully’s claws. From the 8th grade through high school it was often obnoxious reference to one’s mother that got the cock fight going. But in adulthood it’s words like “insane” or “stupid” or “idiot” or “cult” or now, “Trump” that revs up the engines. One word of caution: bullies are quite adept at turning a dialogue into an out and out fight. Any reaction on your part is, in part, a victory for a bully, particularly a Trump bully. So remember, in a flight or fight scenario, flight is as good a reaction as any. That translates as instead of responding, forget and continue to scroll the news feed. That turns the boil to a simmer to an outright turning the flame off. But if you must respond, read on.

Whatever you come up with (and I do think you should consider my suggestion at the beginning of this piece), you’ll need to go back to the bully’s comment that got you to this point in the proceeding. Do you actually know what he is saying and why he is saying it (btw, the bully is almost always male!)? Is your comeback addressing what he is saying? If you were him, what would your reaction be to your return comment? That effectively passes your comment through a few filters, which offers no guarantees of success but at least more thoroughness on your part).

And what is success? For me, it would be what I experienced in my most recent skirmish: no response at all. Silence from the bully indicates that none of his criteria have been met for further battles. I submit you will never convince a Trump bully to acquiesce to your argument. He will never agree with you or even concede you have a point. His belief is ironclad, rigid, inflexible, and as hardened as an anvil, just like his leader Donald Trump. And as that attitudinal approach will be Trump’s downfall, as it has already led to his defeat in the 2020 election, it will ultimately and eventually lead to the bully giving up his campaign, much like the kid in the 8th grade who bullied me for a time back in the day, or this guy in FB who failed to return my “Ah, another Trump bully looking for fight.”

***

A Happy, healthy, peaceful New Year, y’all!

***

Three books of mine, all published in 2021, await your inspection and, perhaps, purchase on Amazon. They are The Valley Spirit: Living a Tao-inspired Life, Into the Woods…and Beyond, and Golf 360: For Current Players and Those Considering the Game. Thank you.

Filed Under: 2022 election, 2024 election, democracy, Donald Trump, Human nature Tagged With: bullies, Facebook

Breakable News Goes Big…Really, Really Big

November 19, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler Leave a Comment

What’s all the hullabaloo, you ask? Well, Breakable News–the news America turns to after Fox News has folded after Trump is gone– has acquired Facebook, forming an entirely new department called BreakaBook. Isn’t that the bee’s knees? We thought so too. Of course, Facebook, as we now know it, will still be available on newsstands by subscription only. After intense negotiations with Mark Zuckerberg, they agreed to sell only if we returned to their original mission of bringing the world together with pleasant social content only. No more fake news. No more hatred. No more nasty comments. No more wacko conspiracy theories. No more politics. No more coronavirus misinformation. Just 24/7 cats, dogs, horses, gardens, seagulls, ping pong, and pecan pies. Oh sure, puzzles too. Lots of puzzles and petifores, petunias, pets, and people–happy, loving, generous, smiling people. All the stuff Mark envisioned as he lounged around his dorm room, before he got greedy after figuring out that puzzles didn’t sell ads, before he started cranking out those algorithms that noted every product, every fantasy, damn, every thought that ever came floating by our brains and spit them back to “third parties” that turned out to be a whole lot more than “third parties”, better known as high roller global corporations. When the money started tsunamiing in, Mark still hoped to bring the world together, but placed it a bit further down his “to do” priorities list that turned into a kind of ghost list–it was there but you couldn’t see it.

Soon Facebook, lacking editors as newspapers, magazines, and normal websites have, was helping to start wars, elect charletans, encourage white supremacy, spread nutsy conspiracy theories, inspire hate crimes, spawn fake accounts from eastern Europe and Russia that were out to stir discord in America–stuff that Mark never imagined would sprout from his little dorm room entrepreneurial brainstorm. He just envisioned billions from around the world holding hands digitally and singing Kumbaya. And this actually came to fruition…only thing was quite a few other hands had rudely joined with blood on them.

So we called Mark after his last Congressional hearing and asked if he was interested in talking and dealing. Well gosh did he jump at that like a trout does a fly. Here’s how our conversation went, with Mark visibly nervous and sweating profusely:

BreakaBook: So Mark, where does that leave Facebook now?

MZ: Huh? Wha? I dunno. I’ve got 17 houses around the world with a new car out front each of them. Couple of planes. How am I going to afford all that? We’re a tech company not a news outlet. I’m in over my head, Breakable. You gotta help me out of this mess. We just figured on the First Amendment. Whatever was posted, we allowed. Me and the guys figured everyone would be nice. I’m down to the last hairs on my head.

BaB: All right. Calm down. Calm TF down. Just leave the country. We’ll take care of Congress…and Trump.

MZ: But…but…what about bringing the entire world together as one? What about our mission, our purpose…our…our… money?

BaB: But think of it. No stress. No Trump ranting and raving, threatening lawsuits. No Ted Cruz screaming in your face. No Lindsay Graham’s smarmy comments. No…

MZ: But…but…no money?

BaB: Well…no. But you can always spend your days BreakaBooking. Think of all the BreakaBook friends you’ll have. All the cat videos you can watch. All the family photos you can view and comment on. All the puzzles you can puzzle over. Think of it…Mark?… Mark? Sheesh. He just up and left….

 

And there you have it, Breakableables. Another Breakable exclusive. Just go to BreakaBook dot calm to comment. But remember, nothing negative, controversial, obnoxious, or anxiety producing. As we say here at BreakaBook, keep it light, keep it lovely, keep it to yourself.

Our sponsor today has been Algorithm Depot, the cyber superstore that knows your every dream, wish, desire, command, and what you do when even you don’t know what you’re doing. As they say at Algorithm, If we don’t have it, you don’t need it; and if you don’t need it, you probably still think you need and, in fact, want it. (sorry, i think our ad agent may have copied that down wrong.)

BuhBy…for now!

Filed Under: Donald Trump, Human nature Tagged With: Facebook, Lindsey Graham, Mark Zuckerberg, Ted Cruz

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