• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Stephen Altschuler

thoughts on environment, politics, health, life issues

  • Home
  • Stephen Altschuler
  • Blog
  • Mindfulness Images
  • Mindfulness
  • Mindful Nature Connection
  • Mindful Golf
  • All Books

A Breakable News Exclusive! An Interview with D.J. Trump

October 27, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler2 Comments

Breakable News, news that we think you might need but you know, down deep, that you don’t need at all, had the remarkable good luck of bumping into-literally-Donald J. Trump just after he walked out of the 60 Minutes interview. He was taking what we smelled as a THC break from the stress of being asked questions “that weren’t fair” he said, in the tone and demeanor of our next door neighbor’s eleven year old. Here’s how our impromptu session went.

Breakable News (BN): Mr. President, got a few minutes?

Trump: What? Breakable? I don’t know if you people like me or not. I think you do, but I get confused by the way you put things sometimes. Kinda quirky. But people tell me you love America and you love me, so, sure, what’s on your mind?

BN: Yeah, Your Grace, we were just…

Trump: Like that, see. Your Grace. I like that. Shows respect. But no need to bow or anything like that. People might think I like England, God forbid. I didn’t bow to the queen when I met her, you know. And I told Melania, Don’t bow, you hear me. Don’t F’ing bow. Any more questions, Breakable?

BN: Right. About the pandemic…

Trump: First of all, we don’t use that word on the White House grounds. I’ve banned it, and have even ordered it removed from all dictionaries. And with my last EO concerning all fed employees, I can now fire anyone who uses the p word. Same with the c words around this little cold going around. I had it too, but thanks to a couple pills, some intravenous, oxygen, and some steroid sh-t, bam, it was gone like a squirrel up a tree. What else you got? I’m a busy man.

BN: Yeah, right. What are your plans around curing this little cold once you’re reelected?

Trump: That’s a nasty question, and you know it. You don’t ask questions like that of the President, you hear me. Who do you think you are, and who do you think I am? Your house ni….I mean, your butler? If I wasn’t standing here answering your stupid questions, I’d get up and leave like I did on that lady in there. Now what else? I can smell my filet and fries cooking. It’s close to feeding time, and I never miss feeding time.

BN: I think that’ll wrap it up, Mr. President. Deep thanks for taking the time for such an in depth interview. We’ll give you top billing on Breakable News tonight. First story.

Trump: And only story, I assume. Gotta run. And I want the tape of this talk destroyed, you understand. People might get the wrong idea.

BN: True, that.

 

Wasn’t that great! Such clarity. Such insight. Such transparency. Another crystal clear example of who to vote for in this next election and why.

***

Today’s featured recipe: Proud Boys Delicious Apple AK-47 Pie–the dish that satisfies and intimidates at the same time.

Ingredients: apples, the more tasteless the better

an AK-47 rifle, locked and loaded (for taste only)

Sugar, 10 pounds

Instructions: In big, and I mean big, pot, place the rifle.

Surround it with sliced apples and sugar

Cook for awhile. Remove rifle before serving.

Proud Boys–the adorable picture of the Boys wearing aprons and guns in their test kitchen we were unable to supply–who sent in this recipe, informed us they are well aware there is no crust involved in this traditional dish, a fact they are proud of, citing their First and Second Amendment rights, and dare anyone to criticize them.

 

Filed Under: Donald Trump, Human natureTagged With: AK-47, Apple Pie, pandemic, Proud, Proud Boys

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Richardsays

    October 27, 2020 at 9:14 pm

    That was the best interview, the biggest and most amazing!

    Reply
    • Stephen Altschulersays

      October 28, 2020 at 10:23 am

      Many thanks, Richard. With my 60 Minutes interview approaching, may I use your comments as a testimonial in my worldwide promotion of the event? You are one of seven worldwide who has read this post, which is perhaps the most significant happening since the Karen Asteroid hit the earth 60 million years ago, killing all the dinosaurs, thus paving the way for humans to evolve. A fluke, for sure. And look where that’s got us: to Donald J. Trump, kind of back to the dinosaurs, you might say.
      Anyway, thanks again, Richard, and hope you and the family are well.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Make a Donation

A donation, either one-time or monthly, would be greatly appreciated to help keep this blog going. To date, I've accepted no advertising. Thanks so much for your consideration and generosity.

Recent Posts

  • A Mensch in the White House
  • Suppressing the Vote: The crux of systemic racism in America
  • This so-called Senator Ron Johnson…
  • Breakable News breaks new ground with a stolen transcript of a recent phone talk between Trump and his BBF Roger Stone
  • Breakable’s Humanity test

Recent Comments

  • Richard on Suppressing the Vote: The crux of systemic racism in America
  • Stephen Altschuler on Suppressing the Vote: The crux of systemic racism in America
  • Hank Altschuler on Suppressing the Vote: The crux of systemic racism in America
  • Stephen Altschuler on Trump Needs to be Arrested and Charged with Treason, Sedition,and Inciting to Riot
  • Stephen Altschuler on Trump Needs to be Arrested and Charged with Treason, Sedition,and Inciting to Riot

Archives

  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • August 2017
  • June 2017
  • March 2017

Categories

  • 2018 election
  • Animal Rights
  • democracy
  • Donald Trump
  • Events
  • Hiking
  • Human nature
  • mindfulness
  • Nuclear War
  • Paul Ryan
  • Trump
  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2021 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in