Ace Breakable News political analyst Phil Erup awakened from an extended snooze and filed this report. We at the News did a fact check and can verify that nothing herein is fact and all is certified conjecture, innuendo, and cheeky snark. But as a BN subscriber, it’s the news you’ve come to expect and love over the years.
The current Republican party would likely feel quite comfortable with a Taliban candidate vying against one of their moderate anti-Trump incumbents. After all, such a candidate would be anti-women, anti-mask, anti-vaccine, anti-abortion, and pro-Trump, since Trump negotiated the release of 5000 of Afghan Taliban prisoners and essentially gave that country back to the Taliban without much of any realistic conditions. Such a candidate would be in favor of Islamic Sharia Law which of course is in compliance with voter restriction laws now in place in many Republican controlled state legislatures, allows for defiance of congressional subpoenas if it knows those subpoenas would implicate them in the January 6th insurrection to overthrow the government (in fact, many of those mostly male rioters were dressed like Taliban!), and encourages white supremacy which subjugates any person of color or religion not in agreement with their own. Such a Taliban candidate would also condone the spying of one citizen against another, as is the case in any totalitarian country, and the arrest of citizens without due process. He or she would oppose any and all dissent or opposition to any leader or government different than their own which seems to be the platform of the current Trump-led Republican party, requiring total fealty to the supreme leader, leading to a return to Trump according to the current Republican agenda.
The Taliban candidate would welcome, as do current Republicans, a return to an America of Jim Crow segregation, of women back in their kitchens, of little control over industry and their polluting ways, of financial markets with their leanings towards the rich and powerful, and even towards terrorist groups, the most dangerous of which are internal to America itself, as the current Republicans seem to favor and support.
Gerrymandering, rigged one-party elections, voter intimidation, punitive immigration: the Taliban Republican candidate is in favor of all of the above, and then some.
And gun control? No problem there. The Taliban, like most Republicans, want absolutely no gun control or regulation. Not even a safety latch, nor a simple permit, like the obtuse bill just signed by the Texas Republican governor. The NRA I’m sure would give a 100% rating to a Taliban Republican primary candidate.
And of course a Taliban candidate would be fully behind the Big Lie, agreeing that Trump, who pathed the way for their return to power in Afghanistan, really did win the 2020 election and should be reinstated.
No Taliban candidates around just yet? No problem. If Trump or one of his surrogates wins the White House in ’24, he could well make a Taliban a U.S. citizen by executive order and nominate him (and yes, it will be a man) to the Supreme Court because, really, Sharia Law is not that much different from the way conservatives see the scales of justice. After all, the hanging of Emmett Till happened just a few short years ago.
And judging from the photo, they’ve got that phony politician smile down as well.
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