Abe and Gert: A morning with a couple of coronaviruses
Location: a café
Characters : Abe and Gert, two coronavirus friends inside a cup stained with coffee and some chocolate croissant crumbs
Day after the Trump rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Abe: So how’d you sleep last night, Gert?
Gert: Sleep. Are you kidding? I hardly slept a wink. I was expecting a feast last night and what did we get—kibble and some bozzo talking for two hours about how he shuffled down a ramp or something. Dude, that guy was so over the top he was like standing on his head. One of our guys told me he was president or something. But like nobody was there, at least not as many as we expected. Bummer.
Abe: Right. Definitely a downer. I mean they had no regard for us. We gotta make a living too , right. BTW, Gert, you look kind of sleepy cute this morning. I don’t know. There’s something about your pigtails. They like sparkle.
Gert. Oh please. They’re a mess. I’m hoping to get to the hair dresser today but I don’t think they opened them yet. What do they have against us, closing everything down?
Abe: I know. But not to worry. They’re opening again and people are starting to flock after all this time in isolation. The Covid futures market is booming. You should see my 401Kovid. It hasn’t been this high since the SARS market a few years ago. That reminds me, I’ve got to call my broker. I got an inside tip on a stock pick that a friend of mine in the White House called me about. This is about to spread like wildfire.
Gert: Really. Pray tell. I’m all antennae. And BTW, where is this Trump character going for his next rally. I’ve got to book a ticket. A lot of our folks were able to infect quite a few last night as just about no one was wearing a mask or social distancing. Wasn’t that great. They think we’re done, finished, washed up. Arent’ humans wonderful to be around. They’re so accommodating.
Abe: And so naïve. My only fear is that we’ll starve when there are no more of them left.
Gert: I know. I lose sleep over that prospect.
Abe: OK. Finish your coffee and crumbs. We’ve got a full work day ahead of us.
Gert: Right. Ugh. I’ve had way too much chocolate. There goes my figure.
copyright Stephen Altschuler 2020