Hey, Mr. President,
Stephen, here again. The golfer guy from Vancouver who recently advised you to resign and turn the executive branch over to Mike Pence (although now I’m not so sure that Meek Mike could handle the job). I haven’t heard back from you, and, being Jewish, I was worried. Also wondering if you enjoyed the book I sent. That was the one I wrote called The Mindful Golfer (or did someone in the mail room shortstop it for themselves?). Anyway, given all the added stresses and strains of the virus, the press, the poll numbers, and the germ ridden White House, I’m wondering if you had a chance to consider my suggestion from my previous letter. This could be an ideal time for your resignation what with lovely golf weather ahead and the country opening up again, and consequently the potential for a surge in the virus. Seems to me you could effectively cut your losses and come out looking more and more like Lincoln.
Anywho, I don’t want to be a nudge but how about it? Makes a whole lot of sense to get out of Dodge while the gettin’ out is good. Think of it: No more press briefings with those nasty questions from CNN reporters, no more meeting with Tony Fauci who may well be a Chinese agent, no more mask wearing staff members who probably are making faces at you behind those masks, no more White House meals that are likely laced with Lysol, no more watching those traitors and government infiltrators at Fox News every night, no more Tweeting at 3 AM, and no more son in law running around like a chicken in a poultry plant pretending he’s Nostradamus.
Think of how life might be in retirement. My model is that 111 year old African American vet who when asked his secret to long life answered, “ I smoke about 12-14 cigars a day, drink good whiskey, and have a bowl of Butter Pecan ice cream before bed every night.” He just died recently but I understand with a smile on his face , which, I understand, was not masked.
Anywhichway, I just thought I’d touch base and make another pitch for my most excellent suggestion, one of the GREATEST suggestions ever. When you get a chance, let me know what you think….between you and I, of course. As you might say, “Let’s try it out. What have we got to lose?”
Oh, and be extra careful of that NASTY coronavirus. I heard it’s skulking about and creating quite a stir in the White House.
Yours truly,
Stephen A.