Breakable News flash! (All the News that’s Truly Fake)
Trumpet voter toot/tweets, “if Our Dear Leader dies I’m still gunna vote for Him. His Ghost could still run the country, as long as twitter doesn’t ban His account, which I don’t think they will cause they haven’t banned a ghosts account yet. Ghosts lives matter, ya know, especially Trump’s ghost. Actually, now that I think of it, only His ghost matters. I know you left wing, commie liberals’ll make fun of me for this, but, wait, you’ll see.”
Ms. Coney “Island” Barrett reports at her next public appearance she hopes to infect the rest of the Republican establishment. Upon incessant questioning by the media, she admitted that Angels coerced her into close contact with the President and his cronies, thus stealthfully spreading the virus via in-person zoombombing, sabotaging his reelection chances.
Trump reports he “feels better, pretty good, actually really good. I could walk outta here right now.”
His doctor, who is a D.O., recommends that the president should change his lifestyle and take more walks in the woods, but reports “He’s not out of the woods yet.”
Who to beiieve? Stay tuned for the next Breakable News report. And remember, this is your (sort of, maybe) only news source of fake news ALL THE TIME.
And, as seems to be a FCC requirement (punishable by nasty, career-ending tweet from the president, health permitting), We at Breakable News wish the president and his wife a speedy recovery.