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Stephen Altschuler

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Breakable News Special: Voter Suppression Investigative Report Gone Wrong

October 14, 2020 by Stephen Altschuler Leave a Comment

OK, gather your cats round the computer, Love Bugs. Breakable News, in our continuing Cats Rule segment, has a treat for you today. We sent our voter suppression correspondent Charlie Helpdo out on assignment to investigate alleged suppression in Utah and he unfortunately stumbled upon a cougar den with newborn cubs. In a fake news, pretty much real, special report, here are Charlie’s extraordinary videos from the front lines. Charle’s a bit directionally deficient , btw, since our assignment stipulated a voting place at a Mormon Church in downtown Salt Lake City. 

First, Charlie stealthfully approaches the den with cubs and their mom. A heartwarming scene, and obviously, our ace reporter surmises, no voter suppression there.

https://youtu.be/gKGwNVwrIBI

Now assuming you’ve seen the preceding video of moma and her cubs, check out this segue where Charlie gets a wee bit too close, arousing the ire of moma cougar.  And it finally occurs to our dear ace reporter that perhaps he’s mistaken in assuming this is a legitimate voting place…unless…unless Moma thinks Charlie is a Proud Boy, Charlie ponders.

So herd those cats and watch this exciting conclusion to today’s Cats Rule special. This is a non-continuing story since Charlie, a bit confused after the encounter, has no intention of returning to this particular Church, he reported as he faded into the sunset. 

https://youtu.be/9Pg2CDCm34w

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: voter suppression

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